Big Family, Big Move

Empty Nest

After over twenty years of hugging; laughing; attending church; doing homework; going to gymnastics, horse, and piano lessons; volunteering; working on the farm together; getting through the tough times; canning fruit;... the children were gone. Undoubtedly, a big change was in the air. I can't even cook for less than 4 people! And sure enough, the presence of God and His extended family became more real, more tangible and inspiring.

During our twenty-five years of marriage, my husband and I had schooled ourselves to change for the better. We had to. For fifteen of those years we were licensed foster parents and the many different children who came to live with us were so individually unique, we were required to continuously transform our mental attitudes, and actions so as to meet their needs and wants. Not to mention the necessary modifications we owed our own two daughters.

We lived and worked on our apple and cherry orchard. The farm was a haven, providing successful therapy for the foster children.

Two years ago, the girls were away at college and Bryan (who we've practically adopted) was living with us while he settled securely into college life. Admittedly, the farm had served its purpose and because God's purpose expands, instead of diminishes; it felt natural to make a change. We let our foster license expire and we put the farm up for sell. The orchard sold in five days.

What to do now?

Pray.

We had become fairly efficient at changing for the better concerning the household and children, but now we basically had no house and no children! Or so it seemed. Thankfully, prayer effectively reveals what is beyond the seeming.

We still had children. And, the buyer of the orchard was generous, permitting us to live in the house. Of course, the buyer knew we would not take advantage of his generosity, so we began seriously looking for another house.

We looked at many houses to buy. We looked at many places to live. Nothing clicked.

Finally, we signed a rental lease in the city where our youngest daughter was finishing her last year of college. We picked up short term jobs, met wonderful people, and visited different churches. Our oldest daughter visited from California. Fortunately, the rental house was only a few hours away from where we previously lived, making it easier to visit Bryan. This last year proved "empty nest" not to be meaningless, but full of meaning, of increased purpose.

When I look at the children, I see an on-going expanse. I have never missed their younger years, because the essence of every day of their lives is still vibrant. The innocence of their babyhood, the peacefulness, receptivity, and joy has expanded with the changes. Growth includes all those qualities plus maturity, creativity, wisdom, strength, purpose, and so on. I attribute this spiritual, and healing, understanding to what Christ Jesus taught, "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden...Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your father who is in heaven." (Matt. 5:14 16)

During this last year, we found a plot of land on which to build a house. Three thousand miles away. When we told the girls, they rolled their eyes and smiled. Bryan had skepticism, but he made great effort to trust that we will not leave him. To top it off, my husband and I decided to sell everything and drive our motorcycles three thousand miles to our new hill.

We arrived here a few months ago. The motorcycle trip was indescribably perfect. We are now renting a house until the new house is complete. We have great neighbors. We have visited some wonderful churches. We have jobs. Our daughters have both visited and love it. Bryan has a plane ticket to come visit when his fall college quarter is finished.

The culture is different, but it encourages a sense of grace. God has provided the strength to adjust appropriately when a glitch presents itself. We need to keep praying. However, this particular change affirms that the world is small. Not unimportant small, but available, accessible. God's world is full of beauty and opportunity. God's nest, and the light of it, is happy, prominent, touching, radiant, healing, and inclusive. Our family is big. Light is everywhere; the light of compassion, responsibility, and courage, all of which direct thought to glorify our Father-Mother God, Love.

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